Why Are My Pets Ignoring Me?

Coming home from a long day at work can be so rewarding when a cat or dog is there at the door eager to greet their master.

I love it when I walk in the door and I see Grizzabella sitting at the top of the stairs with eager eyes and a swishy tail. Her body language tells me she is happy her mama is home.  She meows and rubs against my leg.  I then feed her dinner and scratch her back.  She purrs and half closes her eyes which tells me she is a happy girl.  A back scratch is usually followed by some playtime with her favorite toy, her laser, then we sit and watch a little t.v. and snuggle on the couch.

As far as Dasher is concerned.  After I give an initial greeting to Grizzabella I open Dasher’s door to his room. He usually darts towards me and gives my hand a few kisses. I give his head a few rubs. He then follows me up to the living room and runs around the coffee table a few times.  This adorable Dash around the living room tells me my little Dash Man is also happy his mama is home.

But what does it mean when my pets ignore me?

Being both very social pets, I know they are relieved to have my husband and I present.  However, sometimes we just get the cold shoulder.

This happened to me a few weeks ago when I returned home from an overnight trip.  I had a singing gig in Southern Oregon for the weekend.  My husband had stayed home with Grizzabella and Dasher while I went away.  He had to leave for work the day I drove home.  Since they hadn’t been alone overnight I wasn’t concerned about them. So when I walked through the door I was expecting my typical greeting.

I saw Grizzabella at the top of the stairs. “Yay, there she is,” I thought!  But instead of a perky tail and her usual welcome home routine; I got an “Oh you’re here, finally” kind of look.  I tried to pick her up and I got a swat.  I followed her around the room and tried to play laser….nothing.  Just a look of “leave me alone”

“Fine!  I get the message. I’ll just play with Mr. Dasher.  Maybe a little good old cat and bunny jealousy will motivate some affection from Miss Grizz.”……or so I thought.

“Dasher?  Dasher??”   Nothing, ignoring me. In his tunnel.  Wanting to be left alone.

Not even a kiss or a head rub?

In fact, I tried to give him head rubs and he ran under the chair.  I was so sad. I  gave up. I guess they were punishing me for leaving them.  I was so tired, and looking forward to a night with my babies.

But I knew I had to back off and give them space.

In fact, that’s the best thing to do when our pets ignore us.  Sometimes, just like humans, they have to deal with their emotions.  Cats will deal with anger or hurt from separation in several ways.  Cats get very angry when they are left alone.  I’m not a rabbit expert, but I imagine they don’t like it very much either.  Cats can show their anger by not using their litter box, biting you, or just directly ignoring you.  Thankfully Grizzabella doesn’t have the litter box issue. But that girl knows how to punish you with the cold shoulder and a good swat or bite on the hand!

According to PetMd, cats are not known for their friendliness.

They can be aloof and quick to retreat from love and snuggles.  This in turn though makes those moments even greater when your cat does want your love and attention.  In fact, PetMd states that a cat really isn’t being spiteful. They just don’t feel like it. Just like a human doesn’t feel like participating in a certain activity or eating a certain food.  Cats are generally the same.

Can we win their affections back?

Yes! And I did!  I found that giving her a little distance, but still making my presence known helped.  Also, providing her basic needs like food, water, and treats slowly re-established that trust.  And with my little bunny, I put the same theory to test. I left a carrot by his tunnel and just gave the little guy some space.  I then curled up on the couch and took a nap since it had been a long drive home. Soon after, Grizzabella forgave me and climbed up on the couch in her usual spot near my head.  Then, not too long after that, Dasher ate his carrot and jumped up on the couch for some head rubs.  Everything felt in sync again and back to normal.

When your pets seem a little distant.  No need to worry. Just give them a little time and space, and they’ll come around.

After all, they know you are the one with the treats!!!

Sources: The Nine Emotional Lives of Cats, a journey into the feline heart by Jeffrey Moussaieff Masson,p. 172.  PetMd, www.petmd.com/cat/behavior/why-your-cat-ignoring-you, Dr. Michelle Matusicky from Ohio State University.